I get lots and LOTS of spam, and it typically gets a subject line once-over before it’s tossed out with the banana peels and DirecTV mailers.

Well, this one gave me pause. Then it confused me. Then I was convinced that I had a moral obligation to share it with all of you!

This is an e-mail I received from Clair. Or maybe it’s from Kristina:

Here’s some Very Interesting Things that jumped out at me:

1. She claims to have “closely read [my] profile” (only God knows what profile she’s referring to), yet has somehow gotten the (wrong) idea that I’m either unmarried or willing to cheat on my wife. (”I looking for serious relations.”)
2. She’s under the impression that I’m dirt-poor. (”For me are not necessary money.”)
3. She called me ugly! (”The external beauty for me too is not important.”)
4. Here’s the kicker, and it’s what made her request for “the man will concern to me” so gosh-darned tempting: people, at the free time she likes to go to DISCO!

But nope! Sorry, Ms. Whoever-you-think-your-name-is… I already got a wife off the Internet.

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