Larry Douthwaite is a pastor in my old hometown of Littlestown, PA. He’s also spent the past fifteen years serving the local public school district as a crossing guard. He can usually be spotted at the corner of North Queen and East Myrtle streets, and he usually is spotted… because he has a propensity to wear some pretty crazy hats.

Not only does this help drowsy drivers pay attention to the school crossing in the morning, but seeing him in some zany headgear had a way of cheering even the grouchiest commuters.

All that may be changing, though, thanks to borough manager Linda M. Hess.

In a story that has garnered national attention, with Larry appearing on FOX & Friends two days in a row (this past Wednesday and Thursday), Linda apparently saw a driver swerve near Larry’s intersection one morning. She then decided Larry’s crazy hat was to blame, and sent a letter off to Littlestown Chief of Police Don Baker to order the end of the “crazy hat” era. (Ironically, Chief Baker doesn’t seem to have a problem with the hats.)

“I’ll get you, my pretty… and your crazy hat, too!”

I’m wondering a few things, not least of which is this: why did Linda Hess write a letter to the Police Chief and have him speak to Larry, instead of first speaking herself directly with Larry… or at least with the school superintendent? It really seems like a passive-aggressive power play to me. And it’s in stark contrast to Larry’s response, which was to immediately schedule a meeting with Ms. Hess to try and hash things out mano-a-mano.

Larry’s been beyond reproach in the whole thing, to the point of urging others not to criticize Linda for her decision. But he didn’t say anything against criticizing her for her approach to the situation. Personally? If I had to guess, I’d say it sounds like the hats have irritated Ms. Hess for a while now, and she finally got her chance to order their permanent removal. Makes me think of Miss Almira Gulch, if you know what I mean.

So feel free to send an e-mail to her at lmhess@littlestownboro.org (according to Littlestown’s official web site), and let her know what you think about the crossing guard who went the extra mile to make sure motorists paid attention.