Is it really picky of me to want to find a church family that:
Because it seems that every time I express distaste with either of these two things, I’m told some variation of “you’ll never find the perfect church on this earth, and if you do you’d only ruin it by joining.”
Why can’t the “regular assembling” look more like a family reunion?
1 | I am so Wise
While it is refreshing to see someone support a church that would render onto Caesar for all the blessings the state provides, I doubt that a such thing exist. By thing I mean “501(c)(3) state-authorized nonprofit organization”.
My recommendation would be for you to start your own.
2 | Travis
Actually, you’ve got me all wrong. I want to see a congregation that doesn’t castrate itself to suckle at the teat of the Federal government. 
3 | Concerned
Travis, my 9 yr old son sees me writing on my blog and wanted to start his own about this very topic: How to Find a Church.
This is what he had me write down for everyone else to read, and I love his simplicity. While I don’t think you are complicating things, many certainly do. So from the mouth of a babe…
“As you saw my mom’s blog it’s about walking away from a church. This is a little something that can help you find a church. For us it’s a little bit harder. But for you it might not. When we left our church we were looking for another church, but God wanted us not to stay in one church. Because we might get too reliable on the pastor. And forget the real meaning of church. And at least give a church two times because sometimes you might be on a special day and the next would be the best day. So the second time if you have a feeling from God that He is calling you to the church, keep on going until the message is loud and clear.
And if you do pay attention to this blog God bless you.”
You notice he picked up on the fact that he sees that we missed the real meaning of church, and relied too much on the pastor. (we’ve had some long talks to explain why we left our church) I love that he “gets that” now. The importance of personal relationship/faith and not a Christian identity within the context of the church alone. I wish more of us would get that, and as we ourselves are still looking for the church/place God wants us, we cling to Him. Because without Him, we have nothing. And I’d rather have Jesus than the “dearest place on earth” as Calvin called it. The dearest place on earth is wherever I am - because the Spirit dwells IN ME. Yet I do long to serve alongside others, so I keep praying and searching..
4 | Travis
“Concerned,”
You tell you son I said thank you, and that I think he’s got a pretty good head on his shoulders.
I think the goal is probably somewhere between “the importance of personal relationship” and “identity within the context of the church.” Like in a family, the child’s primary identity is found in his relationship to the parent(s), but is further defined and accented by interrelationships with siblings.
5 | Travis
Also, my wife (then fianceé) and I received similar advice from an elder at a place we visited years ago… his was that you should never commit to a particular congregation without visiting at least four weeks in a row. That way, you’d start to get a good idea as to what’s a “great Sunday,” a “bad Sunday” and a “typical Sunday” with that group. You don’t want to write a group off because you happened to come on the worst Sunday ever, and you don’t want to jump on the bandwagon because of a great Sunday experience that will never again be repeated.
That man was in his 60s, I believe, so it seems your son has gained wisdom beyond his years.
6 | Concerned
Travis, thanks - I think he is wise, more than me at least, and I’m in my 30’s..God uses him all the time to speak words of wisdom to me.
I have been trying to find that balance as well - between personal relationship and corporate worship. We can’t function in the same way without the whole Body. But it seems the Body is so jacked up and sick, that sometimes it is better to sever things until you find a healthy Body to join. I have not seen many healthy Bodies, and I am so “weak” myself after my SGM experience I don’t want to catch something unawares! My spiritual immune system is low..I am working on beefing it up by spending time with Jesus and in His Word.
7 | Travis
Nah, that’s one of those SGMisms we’ve got to purge! “The local Body/Church” isn’t a particular congregation; it’s the believers geographically near you. It was established long before our time that “I follow Apollos” and “I follow Paul” are not valid distinctives. Neither are “I’m Southern Baptist,” “I’m Pentecostal” and “I’m non-denominational.”
Right now my family is working on developing friendships with our believing neighbors without getting tied down to a particular club. That’s all I was referring to when I was talking about context within the family.
8 | karen
I am with you on the body of christ not being a particular congregation. That is the kind of thinking that is like the popcorn kernel in my gumline!! Peronally, I refuse to limit my friendships to just one church or theology. For one thing, If i am only surrounded myself with people that think , more or less, exactly as I do .. where is the growth? Plus it is an artificial division in christianity trying to say that SGM or Catholic or baptist is more christian than another. It is an INDIVIDUAL”S RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD that makes them a christian, not where they attend Sunday Mass.
While I don’t always agree with you, you are helping me grow!! As always, love your blog.
