Nicole and I have left Chesapeake Community Church, and some of our friends have asked why. Considering the circumstances surrounding our leaving (and the confusion some friends have expressed regarding it) I’ve decided to address the matter here.
You see, I’ve been in discussions with the pastors (regarding tithing) since our pre-membership interview with Jason Reyes (soon to be the new senior pastor of Covenant of Grace Church in Akron, OH). Sadly, they didn’t bother to even try to answer my questions until they found out that I had posted my thoughts on the tithe here at my blog. Even then, I was met with a general unwillingness to discuss my questions and concerns; rather, the conversation was continually focused on challenging my lack of trust in and respect for them. They couldn’t understand how my trust was largely dependent on their actions and approaches to my questions. You see, I did trust them when I joined Chesapeake in November of 2005. It was only after months of evading and ignoring my questions that I began to get exasperated with them. In the meantime, other things appeared on the radar that only added to my unease and distrust:
- The pastors paid themselves hundreds of thousands of dollars in 2006 (according to their own financial statement), while giving roughly $18,000 as “benevolence.” When asked about this, their response was that the issued Statement was not an accurate reflection of their financial activity.
- The pastors refused to support from the general fund–or even to collect a “special offering” for–a family in the congregation with known serious financial needs. Meanwhile, they collected a special offering to cover moving expenses for two pastors.
- Jim Cannon (the senior pastor) personally told me in front of Jason Reyes and a Care Group leader that his preference was for my membership status to be reevaluated should I choose not to tithe to him. Later, to illustrate his rationale for this, he drew parallels with a wife not trusting her husband to handle their money. But when I pointed out that I wouldn’t/shouldn’t/couldn’t Biblically divorce my wife over such a matter, his response was that a church membership wasn’t like a marriage.
- Jim also told me that in his study of the tithe, he had considered no extra-biblical writings on the subject of tithing penned before the Protestant Reformation. Thus, all early “Church Fathers” epistles, the Didache, Josephus’ writings, and any other works which could have shed first-hand light on how the early church viewed tithing… were ignored.
- Jim’s response was to call me a “freeloader” and claim that I had “integrity issues” when I told the pastors that not giving to Chesapeake was a matter of conscience: they had collected over $850,000 last year with, as I said before, only $18,000 (2.5%) going to those in need. (I took the money I would have given them, and instead gave it to organizations like Compassion International and Blood:Water Mission.)
And in the midst of all this, the pastors tried to shut down an evangelistic effort from a Godly man in the congregation—to spend time with some other Christian men in a pub, where they could interact with people on “neutral territory” and begin to develop relationships with them. The pastors also forbade this man to pass out copies of a Mark Driscoll book to his Christian friends until Jim had approved it, and they almost banned the men in our Care Group from going on a camping trip they were organizing. Why? Because they wouldn’t get back in time for the Sunday morning service.
From what I’ve seen, Sovereign Grace Church in Joppa, MD (their new name, as of September 12th) isn’t a local church. It really bears far more resemblance to a cult:
- The leaders are domineering and in some areas tyrannical;
- they have tried in numerous ways to psychologically manipulate the congregation;
- they demand trust rather than desiring to show themselves worthy of it;
- they are frightened of “their” people being exposed to “non-approved” books and ideas.
So that’s why I left. I tried to reason with them for nearly two years, but it has proven fruitless. The pastors are content to continue as they have, and it’s just become too heavy a burden. It’s kind of depressing, because I love the people I know at Chesapeake, but with the mindset that many people seem to have (that “we must attend the same church or else we can’t be friends”) it seems it’ll be extremely difficult to maintain our relationships.
So where is the Seitler family headed? I don’t know, but I’m definitely scarred from (and scared of) this overbearing leadership, and so we’re probably looking more toward a house church than toward any other “model.” In the meantime, we’ve actually enjoyed greater fellowship with other believers in the past few weeks than we had when we were in “the club”–and it was mostly due to opportunities that wouldn’t have been available to us if we were attending Sunday morning meetings and Wednesday night meetings and…
UPDATE #2: The post I linked “moving expenses” to (on a blog written by Jason Reyes’ wife Laurie) has been removed since my post appeared here this morning. Just to show you there really *was* a post there (and to let you still read it), here’s a screenshot of Laurie’s Delete Post from within Google Reader. It was the only place with a copy still available.
And here’s larger versions of the six pictures from that post (including the last one, which Jason’s actually in): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
I guess this is just another example of their tendency to cover things up instead of dealing with them.
UPDATE #2: Laurie now has a video on YouTube showing the house.
UPDATE #3: What do I mean by “cult”? Find out here.
I just came across the Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, definition of the sovereign grace movement, and it is very interesting to say the least. They discuss the flaws in the movement and talk about why several people have left the movement, along with the reasons Larry Tomczak left. Check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sovereign_Grace_Ministries
Wow… just stumbled across this old post of yours. I grew up in CCC…lived it, breathed it,(yep.. did the school K-12) and knew no other world until one day I told Jim Cannon that I would not do something he asked me to do unless he could provide me with scriptural foudation for what he and other members of the leadership were requiring…something I was unspeakably uncomfortable with. They could not. Neither could Dave Harvey. To make a long story short I was forbidden to fellowship with CCC from then on. I was 19 at the time, and no words can describe the emotional damage done to me by the spiritual abuse at the hands of the leadership I had been raised to trust and revere. My peers in the church, the only friends I had ever known, quickly turned their backs on me and this, more than anything else completely destroyed me. This was back in the late 90′s… well before your experience with this church and certainly well before it changed its name to laughably include the word “grace”. It sounds like not much has changed since.
But praise God! Getting kicked out of that church was a huge blessing in disguise! While I still struggle with the pain of rejection and the sadness of lost relationships from my experience, once I was forced from the cult-like (yes, even if you dont want to go so far as call it a cult, it’s certainly cult-like) atmosphere, I began to experience a God far greater and more loving than I even could have possibly imagined. He revealed Himself and his incredible love to me in ways I never could have experienced in the stifling world of CCC.
That church was, and probably still is, full of well intended people who love God and genuinely desire relationship with Him. Those of us who have come out wounded and battered from the reach of this very imperfect, yet very earnest church, can only “move on” by extending forgiveness for the abuse inflicted and love for the people left behind. Thank God that he is BIG enough and GRACIOUS enough to cover ALL of our errors and sins. My road to forgiveness and healing has been a very long one… I still struggle with even seeing certain individuals from that church who wounded me the greatest.. but I have learned on the outside what I never could have learned on the inside – GRACE!