Back in the day, I attended Littlestown Chapel – Outreach for Christ in Littlestown, PA. (Funny Li’l Tidbit: They’re still using the general website design I put together all those years ago.) I found out a few weeks ago that their senior pastor Scott Morgan has a blog, so I added the blog’s feed to Sage and I check it every now and again.His latest post (dated Jan. 31st) is titled “Marriage and the ‘S’ Word” and deals with Ephesians 5-6. It’s a prety decent post, and I basically agree with Mr. Morgan’s conclusions, but I take exception with the whole “mutual submission” thing.
“This verse stands at the head of a long exposition by Paul on Spirit-directed family life (Ephesians 5:22-6:4).”
First off (and hopefully this is the most nit-picky I’ll get in this post), slaves were part of the family back then, too, so I’d say it’s safe to assume that Paul’s still expounding on Ephesians 5:21 until he reaches 6:9. So that was a typo, right? 
“Traditionally, preachers told only wives that they had to submit to their husbands. If I understand the relationship between verse 21 and those following, then all Christians are to submit to one another—not just the wives, but also husbands, children, and parents.”
Just as a father does not submit to his child in the same manner in which the child is to submit to the father (and likewise with slaves and their masters), it seems a bit dishonest to imply that husbands are to submit to their wives as wives are called to submit to their husbands.
Which you didn’t, of course. You said, “How does a Christian husband submit to his wife and children? By refusing to sit and watch passively, and by taking responsibility for their welfare both physically and spiritually.”
However, I would like to suggest that this is in no way submitting to the wife and children in question. Here’s Crosswalk.com’s NT Lexicon entry for the word hupotasso (translated “submit”):
- to arrange under, to subordinate
- to subject, put in subjection
- to subject one’s self, obey
- to submit to one’s control
- to yield to one’s admonition or advice
- to obey, be subject
A Greek military term meaning “to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader.” In non-military use, it was “a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden.”
So this is quite literally a call for Christians to “fall in.” Basically what we’re being told is to get in line—to willingly position ourselves in a proper relationship to one another—out of reverence for Christ. The wife, child and slave are not the husband’s, father’s or master’s commanding officers, so he cannot “fall in under them” as the word implies when speaking of “mutual submission.” To hupotasso to someone under your command, according to the definitions above, is entirely nonsensical. OTOH, to hupotasso in relation to one another makes perfect sense. That is to say, Paul is calling all Christians to submit to God’s defined order of things. Thus, we are being called not to “submit to one another” per se, but to take our God-ordained places in relation to one another.
What is noteworthy here is not that Paul is commanding “mutual hupotasso,” which is a silly notion. No, what is noteworthy is what is not said to wives. Contrast the command in v.22 for wives to “fall in line” with the commands for children and slaves: referring to Crosswalk.com’s lexicon again, this is what hupakouo (translated “obey”) means:
- to listen, to harken
of one who on the knock at the door comes to listen who it is, (the duty of a porter)
- to harken to a command
to obey, be obedient to, submit to
Children (and slaves) are told to hang on their father’s (and master’s) every word, and to obey immediately and completely. Wives, however, are given a far less “strict” command. They are simply told to accept their “proper position” with regard to their husbands, allowing their husbands to oversee their Spiritual growth.
While fathers and slavemasters are first warned against harshness (perhaps because of the potential for abuse that arises when an Apostle tells someone to hupakouo without stipulation), Paul begins his instruction to husbands with a positive command: “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, …that she might be holy and without blemish.” Husbands literally have a sacred duty to husband their wives; that is, they are to nurture their wives not only (or even primarily) physically, but far moreso Spiritually—that is, with an eye toward their sanctification and ultimate conformity to Christ.
Speaking of “mutual submission” misses the point. Paul isn’t saying, “can’t we all just get along?” He’s giving marching orders to an army that’s about to see battle. They don’t just need “the whole armor of God [to] be able to stand against the schemes of the devil,” (6:11) they also need to learn to fight him like a well-trained unit. That’s why he says “Finally…” in 6:10: he’s not ending the letter, he’s ending the application portion he began way back in 4:17: “Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.”
The Christian life is a war, and we need a sober, Spirit-filled, full-on pursuit of Jesus Christ if we’re going toexperience victory. That means we need to drop our petty squabbles, trying to do our own thing, demanding our “rights” selfishly pulling rank on those under our leadership. Rather, we must together “run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:1-2)
